


Home is, in the end, not just the place where you sleep

by skindyedblue



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Marauders' Era, Post-Marauders' Era, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 00:30:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4939768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skindyedblue/pseuds/skindyedblue





	Home is, in the end, not just the place where you sleep

He has never slept in anything larger than a twin sized mattress, there has never been a need.

The first time they fall asleep they are cuddled up together on one of the common room’s plush chairs, legs and arms twined together near the warmth of the fireplace. They both wake with sore muscles and there is a painful crick in his neck that lasts for days, but it was worth the opportunity to see Lily’s face without the furrow of worry between her brows. James wants to burn the image of her into the back of his skull, the way her hair spills across his shoulder, how her hand curls around his waist.

As the year wore on, and things with Lily’s family continued to deteriorate, it became habit for them to fall asleep together, taking what comfort they could in knowing the other was there.

Or, at least that had been the goal.

Those first awkward nights (how does one sneak a girl into the boy’s dormitory?) had been met with more than a little consternation. What with Lily nearly shoving him off the bed with her sprawling limbs, and James “half suffocating” her under his duvet, neither got much sleep. Sirius had the decency not to make jokes at either of their expenses until that afternoon, but Remus’ barely concealed grin at their matching disgruntled expressions as they trudged down to the Great Hall for breakfast was enough for James to jinx his legs together. At least Peter had the good grace to remain quiet.

* * *

Leaving the comfort of Hogwarts the frivolity of it changed. After joining the Order sleep wasn’t a standard luxury anymore, instead slipped between meetings and missions. They learned to sleep in shifts, usually in the clothes they wore, rarely even taking their shoes off. No one wanted to waste precious seconds to slip on a pair of trainers should a safe house be discovered.

On the days when one of them actually made it home the place felt foreign and empty. Sounds echoing off of the walls and late at night sleep would not come, their minds too focused on the fact that the other side of the bed was empty. And if luck weren’t on their side, it might remain that way.

The rare occasions when, by some miracle, they were home at the same time, exhaustion and fatigue overrode everything else. They were too young to worry so much, James would say, his bones feeling as though they were made of lead. Lily would mumble out a reply, hardly bothering to take her shoes off before climbing into bed.

They would gravitate towards each other in those moments, like planets colliding, curling around and over until there’s no knowing which limb belongs to which body.

* * *

She felt heavy. Her body weighed down until she’s sure that gravity would drag her into the earth and swallow her up. It’s not just a heaviness of her body, it’s a heaviness of her mind, filled with every face, every name of another person lost or missing. The Order was losing people faster than they could recruit and here she was, fussing over the fact that she couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep in.

The weight of the future felt like it was bearing down even as the weight of the child within caused her spine to arch and her feet to swell.

And Merlin, her feet. They ached in the worst possible way, limiting her to a hobbling walk. Running, especially running during a mission, wasn’t an option anymore. But hadn’t she been so fast? Running as quickly as her feet could carry, aiming wordless spells over her shoulder toward Voldemort’s mindless followers, her wand an extension of her body, getting back to the nearest safe house too high on adrenaline to sleep.

A sad smile played across her lips as she remembers.

She wanted to rest for a year, perhaps even two, but the baby happily kicking away at her ribs had other plans. Rolling over to her other side was becoming a mammoth task and she grunts with the effort, wincing at how the movement pulled at the already sore tendons and ligaments.

And then James’ hands were there, kneading into the aching muscles of her back, thumbs pressing against pressure points and she let out a breath that had been locked away in her lungs. He’s barely awake, words slurred as he massaged away the knots and she is finally able to fall asleep.

* * *

The Potter house is loud by default, with four children under the age of thirteen there is little that can be done to amend that. Summer weekends are easily the loudest, when everyone is home and together and suddenly there isn’t enough room within their house for all the growing bodies, each demanding their own space.

It’s still early, but there is the distinct noise of thundering feet and whispered yelling filtering up the stairs as several children try, and fail, to argue amongst themselves about which station they should listen to on the wireless. Someone whines loudly and there is the distinctive thump of a foot being stomped.

Neither parent stirs, having learned years before that throwing a mediator into the mix doesn’t help matters. There’s a loud crash followed by a squeal and Lily burrows deeper into the blankets, yanking them up over her head as though that will cancel out the sounds. Two children simultaneous call out for their parents, trying to tattle on the other.

James scrubs at his face and laughs.

“You know the rules, Potter,” says Lily groggily, not moving from her spot beneath the blanket, her voice muffled. “Whoever wakes up first has morning duty.”

“Laughing first doesn’t mean I was awake first,” James counters, smiling as he rolls on to his back and stretches with a groan.

“Mmn.” is the only reply he gets as another crash comes from the kitchen followed by an ominous silence.

Lily tugs the blanket down far enough that the top half of her face is visible, eyes glancing in the direction the noise came from as though she could see through the floorboards.

“You’re in charge of clean up.”

“Deal.”

****  
  



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